I won't make a resolution.

I won't make a New Year's Resolution.  However, I will give you a list of things I won't do in this up and coming year.

1.  I will not try cocaine or heroine.  Not because I am anti-drug, but because its not really in my budget.
2.  I will not buy an elephant.  As awesome as it would be to own an elephant and call it Cupcake, I simply do not have the cash flow or the know how on how to pull this off.  I will review this and create a how-to guide on elephant ownership.
3.  I will not volunteer in a soup kitchen, unless they do a feature television piece on how awesome Jon Pee is. 
4.  I will not hire a clown for my daughters birthday. 
5.  I will not hire a life coach.  Mainly because they are sort of silly.  I will cover this in another post.
Okay, so that's five things I am pretty sure I can avoid doing.  No let downs here.  I can personally guarantee that I will not fail.
How about you?

It's close to the new year, and I...

1.  Am pissed I am working.  However the silver lining is that it should be done sooner rather than later.
2.  Wonder why people make New Years resolutions.  However, I suppose its good to change a bad thing for at least ten days.
3.  Think I will eat an ungodly amount of Chinese food tonight, and then make my family suffer as I sit on the commode all day.
4.  Wonder who the hell is in charge at the History Channel and why the hell do they want to scare the living piss out of everyone with half a brain.  Clearly the Mayans were wrong, because they are already dead.
5.  Am looking forward to a trip to San Diego.